Sometimes you’re 23 and standing in the kitchen of your house making breakfast and brewing coffee and listening to music that for some reason is really getting to your heart. You’re just standing there thinking about going to work and picking up your dry cleaning. And also more exciting things like books you’re reading and trips you plan on taking and relationships that are springing into existence. Or fading from your memory, which is far less exciting. And suddenly you just don’t feel at home in your skin or in your house and you just want home but “Mom’s” probably wouldn’t feel like home anymore either. There used to be the comfort of a number in your phone and ears that listened everyday and arms that were never for anyone else, but just to calm you down when you started feeling trapped in a five-minute period where nostalgia is too much and thoughts of this person you are feel foreign. When you realize that you’ll never be this young again but this is the first time you’ve ever been this old. When you can’t remember how you got from sixteen to here and all the same feel like sixteen is just as much of a stranger to you now. The song is over. The coffee’s done. You’re going to breathe in and out. You’re going to be fine in about five minutes.
The Winter of the Air (via fuckinq
(Source: kalynroseanne, via 961156)
It’s so fucking twisted, you know. This whole “love” thing. Like really? You fall in love and you literally fall. You crash to the ground and I swear to god all your bones break. You’re fucking shattered but you don’t notice because you’ve got this beautiful boy whispering in your ear and kissing your neck and nothing else matters. But then he leaves and suddenly you feel it. You feel everything. And you’re hysterically crying in your car at 4 in the morning in some empty parking lot because it’s the only place that doesn’t taste like him and you’re trying to hold your bones together but his old t-shirts don’t work as a cast, wrapping them around your chest won’t fix the craters in your ribs. Nothing stops the aching.